Ian Grant went through the very last two verses in the book of James where we were told that if we turn a straying brother back to the truth, we save that brother's soul from certain death and cover a multitude of sins. I guess I've always managed not to think too much about that verse, until it struck me that we are charged not just to be good and nice to each other, but that a large chunk of what we have to do as loving Christians is to shake sense into an erring brother or sister on occasion.
Now. I'm painfully aware that some are better at admonishing than others. Personally, it's difficult for me to come up to a person and tell them why their behaviour sucks. If and when I DO come to that stage, I'm usually doing it out of anger. Otherwise, if I find someone's doing something wrong and I'm not directly offended by it, I don't automatically think to correct the person so much as to try and sit down and understand where that person is coming from.
That sounds all nice and good, except that it hasn't been effective because I've stopped there. Once I realise that a sister is straying, I usually sit and listen. On occasion, I murmur reason but after that reaped rather extreme responses (I've been told I'm a self-righteous bitch. I've also been informed that I've been referred to as a self-righteous bitch), I started to retreat into this Understanding Buddha-like stance, and have chosen not to give up this position since.
The truth of the matter is, the bible tells us that we are to turn a brother away from his error and that we are to do so in love, but the bible never tells you how much people hate hearing they've fouled up - and will yell at you for bringing up the matter. After being burnt badly a good deal of the time, I just started sitting back and holding their hands and listening.
And guess what. They've strayed even further than ever.
I'm also aware that my bedside manner when admonishing has not been the best. Often, I see the mistake but I'm so keen to prove that I'VE got the better way, that I really DO come across as some high-and-mighty princess on a moral high horse. And really, that can't be farther from the truth with regards to many aspects of my life.
I don't think I've mustered the art of talking out of love. It doesn't come naturally to me - especially if the erring brother or sister has been nasty to me, and wants nothing more than to see me land flat on my face. On gravel. Sliding a little. With no clothes on so everyone can point and laugh and pity my sad estate.
But we're told to do all that, so if I really want to walk the talk, I have to start asking for more real, gritty love in my heart - and the fortitude to call it as it is, when I see something bad happening.
I also need to start loving people for real and not air-kiss them. That's the only way I think I'll learn to respond correctly to sin in others and in myself. That way, I won't BE the self-righteous princess on a soi-disant moral high horse when I open my mouth. That way, I won't bite off the heads of others when they shake me hard and point the way back to the straight and narrow, either.
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